Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Dust and Tatters

Amid the dust and tatters that she has created
She finds herself irresistibly drawn to that which will bring her pain
For she mistakenly thinks it a way out of her prison.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Crystal Caverns

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Guardian of the Pure Waters

Watching over a realm of unbridled emotion, she keeps the mysteries of dreams, of inspiration, and of love..

Friday, May 8, 2015

"Imposter Syndrome"

No matter what I achieve or accomplish, I am never able to feel comfortable admitting to being successful at anything. Perhaps this is just part of being an artist, since it seems to be an offshoot of perfectionism. But I have to wonder occasionally if there will ever come a time when I will be able to look at the things I've done and feel a sense of genuine pride. As it stands right now, I see most of my successes as the result of people taking pity on me, or just dumb luck. I always find a way to disqualify anything good that I do.

Does it ever end? Is there any conceivable point I could reach where I could accept that I legitimately did a good job? I've asked myself many times, but I can never settle on an answer. I don't think there's any accomplishment that I couldn't disqualify somehow. I'd almost say I have a talent for it. The greater the praise, the more I think the world has gone crazy. You ask me to explain why I did something well, I'll be wishy-washy as hell, but ask me to shoot it all down and I turn meticulous as a fucking lawyer. If only I were so determined to disqualify my perceived shortcomings.

Maybe it just takes practice. And not in a Stuart Smalley kind of way, because baseless positive thinking is bullshit. All I know is that I don't really feel like going through my life believing every good thing that I achieve is an accident. Because if that's the case, I've been flogging myself like a mule over the past several years for nothing.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Hope Blooms

Breaking through is the hardest part
But I can see the dimmest light beginning to shine...

Monday, May 4, 2015